Breakdown

I am so frustrated.  Sooo completely frustrated I cannot take it anymore I want to go run outside and scream while stripping all my clothes off!  I am so fucking tired of everything I can longer take this shit.  CAN. NOT. TAKE. IIIIT!

Welcome to the blog entry of:

THINGS I CANNOT STAND:

Jesus Christ, I am sorry for my mental spazims and I assure you I am sane.  People have gotten under my skin for too long now and I am having a freak out.

I can no longer stand that anyone is given the right to a drivers license.   Some stupid people are just too ignorant, dumb, or selfish to be on the road with people who actually drive with caution and COMMON SENSE!  Have you ever hit a deer on a back road?  I have!!  Back roads usually have a speed limit of 35 or 40.  I now go the speed limit on back roads because I am watching for deer.  They are all over the place!  Its not like I am going 25!  I have people come up on me like they are on the high way, flash their lights at me and pass me with such anger, they feel the need to slam down the gas as they pass me…and then the taillights are gone. Are you kidding me?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Fine, you go ahead and hit a deer or a dog.  Better yet, hit a tree trying to turn a corner at that speed on these tight back roads.  Fuck you.

Why is it that men are so different when it comes to acceptable things?  Everything in this world is acceptable for men and not for women.  They can belch, scratch their balls, wear PJ pants out, smoke, gain weight but if a woman gains weight everyone notices and suddenly she is no longer attractive.  We have to look good all the time.  When we wake up our makeup must magically be in place, our bed hair all sexified and comfy clothes?  Hell no!   We should be in a thong, and bustier all night long.  Do not get comfortable and smudge that makeup of yours you sexy slut!!!   You must wake up looking perfect with plumped red lips and smokey eyes!  I blame society for the way men perceive women.

Why are guys are always allowed to do things earlier in life?  They can date, stay out later and get away with a lot more then girls can.  Girls are usually over protected and are punished for wanting to do this guys their age do already.  Hows this for an idea?  Guys are the reason we are being held back…why not keep the guys in close quarters and keep a tight leash on THEM?!  They are the reason you are keeping us in at night, and making sure the door is left open when they are over and we cannot wear anything “revealing”!  Come on.  This is and never was our problem, its the guys who are making it this way for us because they are always horny and cannot control themselves.  So, rightfully, the girls are punished and told not to do certain things.  I curse at 16: I am grounded, no TV, no phone, no talking to friends.  My brother curses at 16: they call him a brat….What the hell is wrong with this world?!  How is it any different?!!?

Everything in this world is judged by your looks.  You can say it isn’t but I have experienced this first hand.  I have been offered free body jewelry, free cigarettes and even a free tattoo.  Why?  Why does this happen?  Not that I am complaining,  yes I took the pack of cigarettes when I was 19, but how pig headed is this world?  The next person will come in and pay over 7 bucks for the same cigarettes and you just gave them away to me for no reason?  I am not a helpless little girl that needs things handed to her.  You cannot live off your looks forever.  Oh, and giving a girl something for free is not guaranteeing you a blow job! (unless you found yourself a really easy girl)

Uptight snobby chicks are the worst.  I hate them and I am not saying I hate girls.  Like, some girls will give a dirty look to another girl simply because she has nice hair or her boyfriend was looking at someone else.  Those are the kind that hate girls.  What is your fucking problem you snotty little cunt?  Go back to your barbie dream house and stay there.  No out here wants you!   What I do not understand more so is how these girls get boyfriends and keep them.  They want everything to themselves, think the world revolves around them and probably have rich parents that will take care of her for life.  Good luck to you and your miserable life.

I have done some horrible things in my past.  That is my past and I cant change it.  Some things I really wish I could but whats done is done.  I cannot stand when people judge me on these things.  I am not that person anymore.  I do not and will not do any of that stuff anymore so get on with your own life and stop judging me.

A lot of things in life start to biuld up and bother me til I cannot take it anymore.  This is just the beginning and these are not the only things that have brought me to this point.  Even your best friend may not know you, only you know what is going on deep inside yourself so do not let anyone judge you and make you out to be someone you are not.  No one knows your daily obstacles or what your past has made you.

 

 

 

 

Parkway Drive? What the hell?

Well, I am one of those people who does not listen to the radio.  I hate the radio so much.  Of course if my CD player is broke I will grudgingly listen to the boring ass, repetitive radio so I do not go completely crazy.  Music means a lot to me and it is a big part of my life.   I HAVE to listen to music at least 50% of my awake hours.  If I can’t, I am singing it in my head and at night…I am probably too.  I prefer metal but I love to pop in some Zeppelin, the Doors, From Autumn to Ashes or old school Metallica.  Yesterday I signed into iTunes and searched for some metal bands.  I never come across different bands since I don’t listen to the radio, which is the only downfall of that!  I somehow found Parkway Drive, which is odd because it sounded like a rock band, alternative or punk rock maybe…emo screamo?…anyway, the cover art and the band members looked…kind of like preppy high school guys.  The first songs I listened to were Boneyards and Carrion.  Now, keep in mind I am a metal/metal core (however one may look at it) fan and I like deep screaming and demonic voices (what can I say I’m a creep) and I think NO ONE can stand up to Randy Blythe’s vocals. NO ONE, got it?  Parkway Drive surprised the hell out of me.  I have no idea know how the kids from that band spit out the sounds that I hear from some of the songs. ..I just don’t.  Am I alone in this?  If I look at a picture of those guys and listen to Boneyards at the same time I just cant see it!  I can’t lie…I don’t think some of their songs are hard enough for my taste but a lot of them are pretty metal.  They have a lot of potential but I think they should switch up their marketing to something a little darker if they want to be considered in the “metal” genre.  I am still on my search to find something as good as Lamb Of God.

Parkway Drive: what is up with these guys?

Kick ass metal: Lamb Of God:

 

As a metal fan, if you’ve never heard of either band and you could pick one to try out and listen to their stuff, which band would you give a shot?

Right…Parkway Drive needs to work something out here!

People and their insecurities…

I felt the need to address a situation that I do not have any control over.  I feel as though everyone is their own person and they are who they are and that they should be free to be that person.  No one should change for someone else or mold themselves to how society says they should be.  Things I see said about Taylor Momsen are ridiculous.  She is her own person and she is doing what she pleases and though she is only 16 she is doing well on her own.

She does not depend on her parents and I truly believe she knows what is right and wrong.  People feel the need to talk shit about people they don’t know and I think that is freaking retarded.  What do you know about this girl?  Do you know her personally on a day to day to basis?  Spoken to her?  Know her past?  Anything she has been through up until today?  NO.

Truthfully, who cares?  Anyone who really cares is pathetic.  They need to get a life of their own because they have too much time on their hands.  Celebs will make or break themselves.  Taylor Momsen is not the type of person to read the tabloids and whatever people are saying about her she will never see or hear it anyway, so whats the point?  I think some people seriously thrive on trying to make other people feel bad about themselves because they are miserable and it is the only way they can feel better about themselves.

Why do people care so much?!

Today my fiancee and I were walking through the mall trying to finish our Christmas shopping and this chick trying to sell hand lotion walks up and points to my leggings and says “oh! What happened?” at first I didn’t know what she meant but then came to realize she was referring to my slit leggings. What a bitch.  I look over at my fiancee and he is laughing.  Is that really funny, to insult what someone else is wearing? I would never say that to someone else, what they wear is their own business.  I kinda laughed it off but it continued to bother me, when we came back around when we were leaving she walked up almost as if she were going to try and sell me the lotion but just pointed at my leggings again and gasped.  Okay…what is that point of this?  It’s rude.  It bothers me and I do not understand why anyone else would care and especially comment on something I wear.   It wasn’t trashy, it looked cute.  I wore them with knee high boots a long black tunic type top and a leather jacket.  I was completely covered.  I can understand getting looks if I were dressed like a tramp but come on.  Mind your own business and if you don’t like how I dress, don’t look at me and just go on with your day.  What the hell, it’s not like you have to wear it.

Yet another shoe post…

Yea, I know know. It’s sickening, I hear it all the time.  I am obsessed, I need help, blah blah blah. I don’t care.  Girls and cars are men’s weaknesses and shoes are women’s.   Did you know I actually went through my closet yesterday and threw out 2 pairs of old heels?  Amazing.  I never thought it would come down to that, but I need to make room for all my awesome new ones!

Here are a few I am looking at:

Steve Madden Zip Up Shoe

 

Fergie Mission Slingback, these also come in black….yuumm

 

Steve Madden Caryssa Suede Pump

 

Luichiny Nicka Bee

 

NYLA Zip It

 

I am a black suede lover if you couldn’t tell, but I am trying to steer away from that.  I really love electric blue, hot pink and purple suede too.  I am not a fan of patent leather, I just think it looks cheap and harder to dress down so it’s not as versatile as suede.  Most of my shoes are black but how can you resist?  A purple shoe is not going to look too great with a pink dress.   Black is classic, sleek looking and goes with every color.  I just love black everything.  I find black shoes go well even if you are dressed in black.  It gives off an edgy vibe especially if you got some studs, chains or rhinestones going on. SO hot.

Like these:

Oh man, I want so many shoes.

How to replace the heel tips on your high heels

You may not pay much attention to your heel tips but they do wear down, making it more slippery to walk and unsafe.  Take a look at them and if they look chewed up you should replace them.  Its not a very expensive endeavor so you shouldn’t really put it off.  You can buy your own heel tips off a website like newheeltips.com for pretty cheap and replacing them yourself is easy.

What you will need:

* Pliers

*Hammer

*Your high heels

*New heel tips

*Set of fitting tubes

Make sure you order the correct  heel tips.  Measure or attempt to match up the heel tips that are on your heels now and match them up to the ones showed on the website.  They will list different sizes and shapes that you can order.   They even offer a sizing sheet you can print out to make sure you are ordering the correct heel tips.

Replacing your heel tips:

1. Grab your pliers and pull out the old heel tips.  You may have to turn it and pull it left and right until it comes loose.

2. The fitting tube may or may not come out with it, so may sure you take into account if it did or didn’t so you know whether you will need to replace the fitting tube.

3. Use the hammer and gently start driving the fitting tube and new tip into the heel.

4. Once the new heel tip is mostly in bang it gently but firmly on a hard surface like a table or a desk to drive it the rest of the way in.

5. Your done! Enjoy your new and improved heels!!

 

Lamb of God

It’s no secret.  I freaking LOVE music and  I love Lamb of God.  Since the first song I heard from them, Omerta, which appears on Ashes of The Wake, an album from 2004, I was hooked.  Utterly and completely and totally hooked….borderline obsessed.  Some people will argue that they are metal core while some will say they’re death metal and some really couldn’t care less.  Genres can exist on a very small line and I think bands can fall into several genres but I say “WHO CARES?!”  Plus, everyone’s definition of a specific genre is different.  They rock so  I would listen to them no matter how someone classified them.  Each band member makes their significant mark and without them they would not be the best band in modern music.

 

Randy Blythe is the most perfect candidate for a band’s vocalist.  Whether I can understand the lyrics or not they simply sound like heaven on a stick.  In my opinion, he has the best voice in metal.

 

Chris Adler, drummer, pushes the the drumming trifecta with creativity and intelligence.  Can I just mention that his hair is AWESOME?

 

Bassist John Campbell, kicks major ass because he is the founding member of LOG.  He’s known to be able to double the notes of the which the guitarists play, which is not an easy task considering the bass guitar’s fretboard is significantly different than theirs.

 

Mark Morton, the lead guitarist,  composes and plays most of LOG’s guitar solos.  He is known to have a more blues type style to his music.  You can hear him kick ass in the beginning of The Subtle Arts of Murder and Persuasion.

 

Willie Adler,younger brother to Chris Adler, plays the rhythm guitar.  He is a self taught, unconventional guitarist and is known for playing the odd and unique riffs of LOG.

Some of their best songs (in my opinion) are, in no specific order cuz they all rock:

What I’ve Become

Ashes of the Wake

Omerta

Remorse is for the Dead

Black Label

Ruin

Pariah

Resurrection #9

11th Hour

Requiem

The Subtle Arts of Murder and Persuasion

Flux

Again We Rise

A Warning

Laid to Rest

The Faded Line

Dead Seeds

Descending

Walk with me in Hell

Hourglass

In your words

The Passing

Vigil

Lies of Autumn

O.D.H.G.A.B.F.E.

These are just some of the songs I get the creeps for.  The “creeps”, like I have to listen to them or I will start pulling out my hair.  It’s amazing what music can do for a person’s sanity.

So, bottom line is, Lamb of God, for me, is like Led Zeppelin, there are not many songs that I dislike by them and they will never get old.

God damn, they are fucking amazing.

 

 

 

Driving in stilettos

I think every girl who has ever worn high heels is guilty of wearing them while driving.  The act of driving with them on is not a problem for me.  I know how to work the brake and gas pedal with 5.5″ stilettos on.  I hear a lot of crap about how unsafe it is to drive with them on since it is possible for the heel to get caught on the floor mat or effect using the brake pedal.  Though I have never experienced any problems, I guess I cant say its impossible, but more so than wearing regular shoes?  I don’t know about that.  If someone is not paying attention to the road and they rear end the car stopped in front of them, that is stupidity, regardless of what they are wearing on their feet.

I have recently made a discovery, and since this discovery, completely stopped driving in my heels and now carry a pair of comfy shoes to wear while driving and I simply switch shoes before I get out.  Now, I do not know how many other people do this but do you ever inspect your heels?  A nice pair of high heels are not cheap, most likely you paid at least $80 for them.  You would hate to see a scuff or any type of peeling going on right?  Well, after 10 minutes of driving in my beautiful, brand new peep toe ankle booties I noticed the heel tip was so worn that it needs to be replaced.  I figured they were just cheap and vowed to get them new heel tips soon.  Upon closer inspection, I noticed this only happened to the right heel and the tip was worn at an angle….so it is from resting on the floor as I use the gas pedal!  I was really upset, more so with myself than anything.  I wanted to pass on this information to anyone else who regularly drives in their heels.  For the sake of your shoes, please don’t drive with your heels on! You will make them last longer and save them the risk of being scuffed up, scrapped and the heel tips getting major wear prematurely.

I still, on occasion, drive with high heels on but ONLY when I am driving from store to store in a strip mall and I am extremely careful not to let the heel tip touch the ground.

Save the beautiful shoes!

 

Achieving A Dream

I started writing when I was 13.  I wrote short stories, poems and excerpts.  The excerpts would be any current emotions I was feeling, things I were going through, how I was feeling about life.  I was told at a young age that I should become a writer.  When I was in grade school I did not understand what that meant.  All I knew was I loved to write.  Needless to say, I was not thinking of a career back then!  I remember writing a short book for a school assignment and the teacher calling me up to tell me she was very impressed with my writing skills.  I was elated!   English has always been my best and favorite subject.

Therapy serves people many different purposes in life.  It can be a deterrent from bad things, such as drugs, alcohol or abuse, or can be a growing stage in one’s life such as overcoming something emotionally or physically scarring.   Writing has been my therapy.  Over the years I have accumulated journals and notebooks filled with stories I began and never finished or entries exploring whatever was  on my mid that day.  I am able to talk out my problems, fears, concerns and thoughts when I write.  When I close the book I feel lighter and almost like the problem I opened that journal with, is starting to work itself out.  That does sound pretty far fetched but, in truth, everyone has that one thing that will help them get through life in one piece.

I’ve never made an attempt to take a career in writing any further than writing in my journal.  I am not sure why.  Maybe fear of rejection or not becoming as popular as a writer might dream.  My ultimate goal would be to finish a novel.   It does not have to be read by anyone else or published.  To finish a novel and sit down and read it cover to cover would be a big accomplishment.

My Shoe Obsession Gets Expensive

Ok…I’ll admit it!  Shoes are my obsession.  Everywhere I go, I look for the shoe section, when I open up my web browser my homepage is set to heels.com, and I admire and search for new shoes every day..no fail.  The latest shoe I am drooling over is from Bebe.

This Mary Jane peep toe pump features a 5″ stiletto heel, and a 1.5″ triple platform in black suede.

Retails for $149.99

 

I would love to wear these with a skirt for date night and wouldn’t think twice about pairing them with a pair of dark jeans and a black tee for a day look.   One can dream, right?  One day I will treat myself to them….hopefully that is not too far off.  I really want them for spring!